Originally published on Kayley's Blog - Raging Brat

A Serious Discussion

“You could have waited till tonight, at least,” Alex mumbled. “Weren’t you saying that if I am too sore I might not feel anything?”
“I have a feeling that you might feel it not only tonight, but the next couple of weeks too. So don’t worry about that; I’ll take care of it. Upstairs, please.”

Alex looked again at Alexis and whispered a “good luck”. A grimace showed on his face when he tried to smile. He wanted to say more, but he hoped his look was enough to give her courage. Sighing, he stood up from the couch, arranged his t-shirt - delaying it in the same time – and, giving his Dad a long look, he starting climbing the stairs. Jack followed him without a word.
As he reached the upper floor, Alex glanced one last time at Alexis. And once he lost contact with her, his emotions seemed to punch him in the stomach, cutting his breath. He had no one to play cool for this time. This time he was alone. Jack followed Alex inside the boy’s room, then closed the door behind.

“Yesterday you were spanked for forging my signature. I am still not quite sure you understand the gravity of what you did.”
Alex nodded. “I do.”
“You do?” – Jack asked surprised.
“Well, now I do. I’m sorry about it. I wasn’t thinking… really…”
“But if you had been thinking you would still have done it.”
Alex didn’t answer. They both knew the answer to that question.
“What am I gonna do with you, Alex?” Jack sighed. He really was puzzled and frustrated. Bending rules was normal. Maybe carelessness was also normal. But some things were more dangerous than others…

“How can I trust you with anything, Alex?”
“You can trust me with many things, Dad… But not with everything.” He tried to smile. “I can’t help it.”
“You can’t help it because you refuse to think.”
“True,” Alex admitted. “And I do feel guilty about it but then you spank me and I’m grounded and well… I get over it.”

Jack watched him for a minute, how he had sunk his hands into his pockets again; and how playful his eyes were, as if this was all but a game. Jack decided to play along, in his own way.

“Alright. I’m not gonna spank you,” he said eventually. “Even though you skipped school, stole my car, lied to me – in my face. You can live with the guilt.”

The remark caused Alex to stare. No, this wasn’t right. Oh, no… His eyes stopped their random movement. His face went blank, in panic.

“It’s only a game for you, Alex, isn’t it?”- Jack went at him.
“No… How can it be a game, Dad? Are you serious?”
“I am. But you are not. For you it’s only a fucking game of playing hide-and-seek. Trying to get away with as much as you can so you can brag about it. And the fact that you get caught it’s only a minor setback for you, isn’t it? “

Alex blushed furiously. He was caught red-handed, without even knowing up till now that all these smart plans and schemes and shit were just meant for this.
“So let’s see how not spanking you will fit in your plans, hm?”

There was no answer. Tears began forming in the boy’s eyes. It wasn’t fair. Being caught like this was more humiliating… I mean… His plans… He screwed up. He could have gotten his Dad in jail. He could have ended up himself in juvenile detention. He was so fucking guilty. How come he never felt this guilty before? And then, where did the speech he made to Alexis come from, if he – Nothing made sense anymore.

“Dad, I’m not playing…” – He said. “I’m really sorry. I do feel guilty. It has nothing to do with games, I swear.” He swallowed hard, then, eyes down, he began unbuckling his belt.
Jack didn’t ask for more explanations. He slid slowly the belt out of the loops, watching a very repentant Alex lower his jeans. The kid hesitated for a few moments, as if unsure that this was what he really wanted. He surely didn’t ask for a spanking! Oh, no…

“Boxers too. We’re not playing games anymore, Ales. A deal is a deal. You did what you did, you understood the gravity of it, now it’s time to face the consequences. You were aware of them but you chose very smartly to ignore them. Don’t look at me like that! It was your decision. So I’m afraid the boxers come down too.”

Alex stalled again, still unsure. “Daaaad…”
“Now, Alex. Now.”

His hands began slightly shaking as his mind dived into a different reality. Once again he was wrong. Once again Jack had brought him to the point of admitting defeat. He lowered his boxers and laid face down on the bed, face hidden in his crossed arms. That was it. Once again, he was doomed. He felt like crying even before the spanking had started. His mind was a blurry mess. He was uncertain of how or what he felt. Things came back to him quite fast though, the moment the belt touched his already sensitive backside. He wanted to stand up and say: “Ok, that’s it, I have changed my mind”; but he couldn’t. He was too proud for that. And he was guilty.
Jack didn’t say a word for a long time - just let the belt do the talking. That was until the moment Alex lost control of himself and started twisting. Jack stopped and gave him time to gather himself. They both became aware of Alexis’ cries coming from downstairs.

“This is not a game, Alex,” Jack finally said. “I am quite sure that right now you think the same thing. I just wish you would make the right choices before we reached this point.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, but it was the kind of apology coming from the intense desire to put an end to the pain. And Jack recognized it for what it was. There was still resistance left inside of his son. He could read it in his tone.

“Hands in front of you… Spread them Alex.” The kid obeyed.
Let’s take the familiarity and comfort away from him, and see what happens, Jack thought.
“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered again. Another tentative to stop what was still coming. But Jack started spanking again, and this time, unable to bury his mouth into his arms and muffle his screams, Alex cried in pain. He lost track of how many “I’m sorry”’s he had yelled and mumbled until Jack stopped to ask: “Sorry for what?”
“Sorry for breaking the car and lying…”

This was not the answer Jack had expected. He shook his head, sighed, and went on turning his son’s butt into a dark shade of red. The reactions that came were strong. And the excuses went on. So did the apologies. Then the kid stopped apologizing and his cries turned into sobs. He cried so hard he didn’t know what had hit him. Pain was not it. It was the frustration of another lost game and the realization of it.

Jack put the belt aside and sat down next to Alex, patting his back.
“Why am I crying?” – he heard Alex say. “I’m seventeen and I’m crying…” Which made him cry even more. “I’m such an idiot… “
“You might be foolish, but idiocy is not in your genes. Trust me.”
Alex shook his head.
“I am so fucked up, Dad. I really am. You don’t know anything about me. I played. You were right. It was all a game and it was exciting and stuff. And I really like Alexis, you know? I could have gotten you in jail! I could have fucked up her life forever!”
“Yes, you could have but you didn’t.” Jack reached to his perspired forehead and wiped it with his hand, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Now you know better. And I hope next time you’ll think twice before doing something like this.”

Alex nodded, trying to calm himself down.
“This is so not cool,” Alex said slowly.
“Yeah. You’re right.” – Jack laughed. “But it’s between you and me. No one has to know what we talked about in here. You can still be cool with your stinging butt and red eyes when you go downstairs for lunch.”

Alex nodded.
“Good. Pull up your jeans then and go wash your face. Start acting your age and stop being a spoilt brat. I’m still blaming your Grandmother, Rose, for this - in case your mother asks.”
Alex managed to laugh a little. He pushed up his butt and dragged his boxers over his soar butt. Jack picked up his belt. “I’ll see you downstairs in ten minutes.”

Alex nodded. But he still needed time to gather his thoughts. He lay there for a while, jeans still at his ankles; He was in pain, but relieved. His mind started wondering towards Alexis. Maybe she needed comforting. And up he was again, buttoning his jeans, and rushing for the bathroom to wash his face.