Originally published on Kayley's Blog - Raging Brat

The One with the Paper

The boy frowned, took one last fast puff from his cigarette and put it out by squeezing it against the wall.

“Listen to me,” he said, “there is no way you can get caught. No one has ever checked on sick students. The teachers are too stupid to think of that. It’s a safe bet. So… you want it or not?” He extended the paper to her. The girl took it from him, inspected it for a few seconds.

“You are absolutely sure?”
“Alex, I’ve used it myself, for fuck’s sake! And when I did I didn’t get caught. Josh used it. I can give you countless names if you want.”
“So how come it is still working?”
“Because not everyone knows about it and because you have to play safe. You don’t use it unless you really need to and you don’t overdo it. I can write it for you, just come up with a good disease to keep you away from school safely for a week.”
“I thought that was your job,” she said.

He sighed, considered, brushed his hair with his fingers.
“I’ll do it for you. But you promised to come with me on Friday! I worked it out quite nicely: my Dad’s away till evening, and on Friday he doesn’t drive to work because of the traffic. So we’ll have the car to ourselves. Two hours going, two coming back, we’ll be home by seven-eight in the evening. On the other hand, you will have to lie to your Dad about school. Can you do that?” It was a challenge. Her adrenaline was rushing.

“Are you kidding me? You were still a toddler when I learnt how to do it.” Her eyes flashed.

“Right. Just don’t get me in trouble.”

Ok. That was it. “You think you are smarter just because you are a proud specimen with balls? You don’t know shit about me, trust me!”

“Well,” he said trying to make a slow move on her, “why don’t you share then?”

“Hey, watch yourself! I’ve eaten bigger guys than you.” She grinned. “But hey, maybe if you fill in this one for me” – she said, passing him back the paper – “you might stand a chance… a small one, however.” She was definitely having the time of her life playing this game.

And his eyes twinkled. He loved a good chase. Especially a rare one, like Alex.

“Alrighty then… Give me the pen.”

The One with the Diseases

When Jack came down in the morning to grab his coffee before work, he discovered his late-rising son, Alex, busily reading one of his medical encyclopedias and furiously jotting down something.

“Wow. That’s a first,” Jack patted his son on the back, as he passed by to the kitchen.
“Yeah…”
“What’s it for?”
“School… kind of…”
“I see. You can ask me, you know…”
“Yeah…” Alex jotted down two more things then closed the book. “It’s ok, I guess.” He stood up from the coffee table and gathered the heavy books on top of each other, at the end of the table.

“So what did you need?” – Jack asked.
Alex innocently poured himself some juice. No need to worry.
“Nothing. Just some diseases. We have been talking about them in school. I wanted to see if they were contagious or not.”

He couldn’t find what he had been looking for but asking his Dad was suicide. Actually…
“Meningitis is infectious, right?”
“Very. And the patient would need a long time to make a full recovery.”
“Ok…” Alex mused. “How about” – he checked his list – “typhoid fever?”
Jack started laughing.
“Thought so,” Alex mumbled. “Don’t you know something less contagious or not contagious at all and which won’t make you spend weeks in hospital?”

Jack sipped his coffee, eying his son.
“That’s an odd question, Alex…”
“Don’t answer then. I can keep reading, you know…”
“Why exactly are you asking me this, anyway? And forgive me for being suspicious.”

Alex picked up the encyclopedia and threw it in his school bag.
“I made a bet with my friends. I don’t wanna lose it.”
“What’s the bet about?”
“I’ll tell you when I get back from school, if I win.” He said it perfectly relaxed, without even blinking, looking into his Dad’s eyes.

“I guess you don’t plan on skipping school, right?”
“No. Don’t worry about that.” Now, that lie made him feel disgusted with himself. “It’s just a stupid bet. Ten bucks. But it’s my honor, really… It should be a painful disease but not gross.”
Jack thought for a few minutes, his eyes twinkling in the same way in which Alex’s eyes were when he was playful.

“Dunno. Try Cholecystitis.”
“Co… what?”
“C-h-o-l-e-… Are you writing it down or not?”
Alex grabbed the pen and his list:
“Ok.”
Jack spelled it twice then gave up.
“Just look it up in that book you took.”

“Ok. And… what’s the treatment?”
Jack paused. His eyebrows wrinkled in an unpleasant way.
“Alex, do you need to tell me something?”
“No. Dad, honestly, it’s just for that bet!”
“If it’s for something else you are in deep trouble, mister.”
“It is not.”
“Antibiotics, pain medicine, a low-fat diet, and if it’s very serious – surgery. Good enough?”
“Perfect,” Alex grinned. “Thanks, Dad.”

Fifteen minutes later, encyclopedia on his knees, he was sitting on the entrance stairs of his high school, busily engaged in a conversation on his mobile phone.

“….t-i-t-i-s… You got it?”
“Yeah,” the girl responded. “And what the fuck is it?”
“My Dad said…”
“Your Dad? You actually asked your Dad about it?”
“More or less, yeah…”
His girlfriend, Alexis, started laughing at the other end of the phone. “I underestimated you, Alex Pierce. So… what the heck is it?”
“It’s an inflammation of the gallbladder that causes abdominal pain. You puke, have fever, severe pain, and so on. You can take the paper with you in school today. It’s Thursday. So start acting sick. Try to make yourself feel sick. During your second class pretend you need to go vomit so get out of class. Then look for your head teacher and tell her about your medical note and that you had today off also, from the doctor, but that you wanted to come to school anyway, but that tomorrow you have appointment at the doctor and so on. Most likely she will suggest you go home. Go, but act very sick. And tell her you will bring the medical release on Tuesday or will send it to her through someone.”

“And it will work, you say?”
“I’m a genius, girl, of course it will! Now get your ass in school and don’t be late. And don’t forget: act sick even around your friends. They cannot know.”
“Done.”
The smile on the boy’s face grew. He hung up.

“Fuck, I am good!”